Guessing Game

Here is the game. Below, I have listed 10 words or phrases that my child uses around our house. They may look like another word, but I have just written them phonetically, for those of you that don’t spell well anyway. First person to guess all ten words correctly wins!

Edited - Jan. 2 - Melinda wins with 9 correct! The red is what little man means!
1. opum - open
2. cuck - truck
3. shashite - flashlight
4. hork - fork
5. boops - boots
6. muboo - I love you!
7. boolan - balloon
8. peeses - PIZZA
9. kickin - chicken
10. tattoo - Thank You!

Wins what, I haven’t decided, probably bragging rights that you can understand the babblings of a toddler! Happy guessing!

Great job to the mommy that doesn't have a talking toddler yet, but understands that babblings of this one, and to the aunt that little man calls for whenever you ask him who's at the door!

Frrrozen Hot Chocolate

Get this...
My sister is in New York City with my parents for Christmas, and she just called me and asked me to look up an address on the Internet for her for a place to get hot chocolate.
Apparently, she remembers that in the movie Serendipity the main characters stopped in at a restaurant and had a big cup of hot chocolate, and she wants to go there too.
Coincidentally, the hot spot is also called Serendipity, and is on East 60th Street in New York. So, I relayed the address so that they could go get hot chocolate. Talk about some expensive brown water!
Then, while we're talking, she says, "Hey look, Mom! There's a Prada store across the street!"
Argh. I'm so jealous!

Kiss It

My child has reached the age where if he falls and starts to cry, I can ask him where it hurts and he'll show me. So, I started asking if I could kiss it and make it better, and he lets me. It's so cute, now, because he'll fall or hit something and then come straight to me and start holding out his arm or head or whatever hurts and he'll push it to my lips so that I can kiss it. It's so cute!
But now my question is this... I can kiss it and make it better for him, but who will kiss my hurts?
Today is Christmas eve, and for the first time in I can't count how long (since 8th grade) I won't be playing in the three Christmas Eve services at my parents' church. For me, that was the definition of Christmas. Now, here I sit in my pajamas, watching my child make a mess of my house, all by ourselves. It's depressing that I'm not with my family, and that I'm not helping make this beautiful music, and that my husband has to work. But, he'll be home tonight, and we'll start our first tradition with Micheal tomorrow morning, and I am excited about that.

And before I forget... Happy Birthday to my little brother, who turns 18 TODAY! I can't believe he's that old, because that means I'm old, too!

Merry Christmas!

I'm Gonna Say it Anyway!

This year, the world has hit a new low. Retail stores and commercials everywhere, and even my favorite daytime TV shows have eliminated using the phrase Merry Christmas, and now have to either say Happy Holidays or say nothing at all. The worst part is that most of them have chosen the nothing at all option.
I have been upset by this all holiday season, and then I started looking around. At our faculty Christmas luncheon, or any faculty get-together that involves food, our superintendent freely says a blessing for the food, and allows us to freely express our Christianity by saying Merry Christmas. We went to my husband's "company" Christmas party the other night, and we opened with a prayer and the "forbidden phrase" abounded everywhere! And these are city employees! :) Then, I went into Hobby Lobby, and heard Christmas carols instead of the usual Christian music, and I was not offended. It was refreshing to be able to hear carols instead of being offended by people that DON'T want to hear them. This is the holiday season, so celebrate it!
So, I have decided that this year's politically correctness will not apply to me, and I will continue to wish everyone a Merry Christmas and a Blessed New Year, and I will not be ashamed.
I'm not saying that those people who would like to celebrate their own holiday can not, because just this morning I watched a commercial about Hannukah, and I wouldn't be surprised to see one about Kwanzah, either. Let those who believe celebrate, and those who don't can keep their X. But I won't take the Christ out of my family's Christmas, and I hope that you don't either.

MERRY CHRISTMAS! MERRY CHRISTMAS!! MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!

Guilty Pleasures

Before Melinda left town, I scouted out a few places where we could go for one last pedicure. Problem was, we both ran out of time to do it together. So, for her, I went anyway. And since I felt bad that the establishment wasn't getting the double sale, I felt the need to get a little extra done to make up for the missing person. So, I got my nails done, too.
I grew up with my mother's fingernails. If they grow, they grow really pretty, and then all of a sudden, somehow each and every one of the nails that took a good couple of weeks to grow one or two at a time breaks off, usually below the nail line, and deep into the meat of my finger. I also have nails that are layered, and the top layer lifts off all the time. My husband says I need to drink more milk, but I know that I drink plenty of that(no matter what AS says about dairy), so I don't have that excuse. So, in order to combat that problem, I used to get my nails done all the time to keep them strong. That was before Micheal came along. Once he came along, there was no more time for such luxuries, and my nails got pushed to the back burner, just to get them growing, and then bend one and break it again.
My husband has his "habits" that cost a little bit of pocket change every month, and I didn't think it was fair that I had to quit mine. So, I asked, and he agreed.
My nails look good, and my feet feel good, and I have no guilt about dropping my child off at his babysitter's to play with other little boys while Mommy worked out and had a little "play" time.
Now I'll have to think of something to do tomorrow so he can go play with the boys again!
Or maybe we'll just stay home and play together again! :)

Everyone Else Did!

I decided to jump off the bridge along with everyone else.

Lately, all my blog friends have been changing their backgrounds, causing me to do a double-take when I click on my link and am used to seeing a certain color pop up. It really messes wih me when that's not what shows up. So, I decided today to do it, too!

Now I just have to figure out how to make things look kinda like they did before. Argh... Melinda helped me do it last time. I guess this time I've have to try it solo and see how good of a teacher she was.

Have a good day!

FYI or TMI

My Dearest Husband,

I try very hard to be the kind of wife you can be proud of, but this week, I don't think that's going to happen.
It's very cold outside, and our hot water heater isn't doing the job that it should be. When I take a shower, by the time I get to my legs, it is just too cold to even attempt anything.
So, until we get a new hot water heater, or until it's not so cold outside anymore, you can just forget about seeing my legs bare of hair, and instead be thankful that I at least used the razor for my underarms.

Lovingly yours,

Michelle :)

Emotional

Know how when you stay busy, you don't really pay attention to how you feel or think about what events lie ahead of you? Ever notice how when you don't want to think about it, that's the only thing on your mind?
All day Friday, I worried about getting my house clean and ready for my parents to come over. Saturday morning I worried about feeding people and getting everyone ready to leave the house on time. Then, I worried about making sure that my child didn't get loud enough to disrupt anyone else while watching their child or sister or other family member walk across a stage and receive the diploma they've been working so hard to get. Then, I worried about getting home and getting food ready for my family and all of my sister's friends. And it turned out well.
And then it was time for everyone to leave. Including my sister.
I hugged everyone, leaving her for last. The second I put my arms around her little neck, I couldn't breathe. My world stopped, and I realized that this was the last time I would hug my sister and not see her the next day. She tried to make me feel better by saying she'd see me in a couple days, but we both laughed because we knew it was just a joke. We've always been able to go at least a couple days without seeing each other, but I don't know how long these "couple days" will be. As they pulled away, we both had tears in our eyes, so I came back inside and just let them flow.
Ever notice how a really good cry seems to take away all your energy and momentum for the rest of the day?
And then the other side of the family came over for dinner and Christmas presents. Whoa... what a weekend.

To My Sister

Tomorrow, my sister will get the two degrees that she has been working towards for the past five years. I am so proud of her, and at the same time, am so heart-sick about it because I don't know what it's going to be like without her here. So, I wrote this for her, and thought I would share it with you.

To My Sister,
You are my family, you are my sister, you are my best friend.
You have yelled at me, cried with me, and laughed together afterward.
You understand my frustrations, and I don’t test your boundaries.
You support me, and I support you, even when we don’t necessarily agree.
As you step into the next chapter of your life, I thank you for sharing this chapter with me, and I want to remind you that no matter where you go, no matter what we do, no matter how far apart or close together we are,
You are my family, my sister, and my best friend.
Yesterday, Today, and Tomorrow…


I love you!

Along with it, I gave her a ring that is three rings intertwined together to make one ring. Yesterday, Today, and Tomorrow...

So, go to her site and congratulate her on a job well done! She deserves it!

"Easy"

Webster's dictionary defines easy as

1 a : causing or involving little difficulty or discomfort b : requiring or indicating little effort, thought, or reflection

I don't think that's true. I think the word "easy" is a relative term.

This is the main reason why I don't allow my students to say the word in my math classes. Certain aspects of mathematics are not as easy for some people as they are for others. So, if they insist on using that word, I make them amend it and say the phrase "easy for me."

This year, a group of teachers decided to repeat a fun thing from last year, and we're doing a cookie exchange. It's fun because you bring a certain amount of cookies, and then you go around and get some of everyone else's cookies, too, and you end up going home with the same amount of cookies you brought, but of all different varieties. The only non-easy part of this cookie exchange is that they said you couldn't bring the same cookies this year that you brought last year. Ugh.

Anyway, I remembered that one of my master's ladies had brought some cookies once that were to die for, so I asked her for the recipe. She started the description with how "easy" they were because there were only three ingredients that you needed. Oreos, cream cheese, and white almond bark. So far, so good, in my mind. Then she told me all I had to do was crush the Oreos, mix in the cream cheese, and dip in the melted bark. Sounds "easy" enough, but boy, was it NOT!

First, Kroger didn't have any regular Oreos, there were only Reduced Fat Oreos... weird. Then, there was only one package of the bark, even though she had told me that if I needed anything extra it would be the bark. Ugh. So, I started these "easy" cookies Tuesday night, so that if I needed more stuff, I could run and get it Wednesday afternoon, since we were exchanging our cookies today. Not only did I not have enough bark to dip them twice, it was barely enough to dip them once! And when we say "dip" that's not exactly the easiest way to do that. Oreo balls like to come apart if they haven't been in the refrigerator until the exact moment before you "dip" them. Argh.

So, two more packages of bark later, I finally have four dozen little Dirty Snowballs. They are really good, though, so I guess I'll just have to forget how "easy" they were for next year.

And then, my husband of few pieces of advice, tells me not to forget that the first time you try anything it's always hard. I guess that's his vote for me to make another batch.

Heavy Hearts Abound

My bestest friend is upset about her baby's tiny flaw... which I understand...

My husband is upset because he lost his pistol while hunting with his dad, and our child has a cough that won't go away, and our checkbook has a leak and doesn't hold all the money that goes into it.

My sister is upset because someone is stupid and immature, and she's worried it will affect the difficulty of her final exam, therein preventing her from making the B in the class that she so painstakingly worked for. If she doesn't make the B, she can't graduate on Saturday.

All of these people I care so deeply for, and I can't stand to see them hurting, but right now, no words I say can make any of their pains go away, and so all I can do, and what I'm asking you to do, is pray that God takes care of each of their needs in the ways that He sees fit, and that in a few days, all will be back to the joyous spirit of Christmas again, because that's the fun part.

Before I had kids...

Everyone always says that after you have kids, you forget what life was like before they came along... and WOW is that the truth!
Before I had kids, I had time for everything that I don't have time for now. I stayed in better contact with all my friends, I kept my house cleaner, and I got to wake up whenever I wanted to wake up. I could go to bed without having to pick up clothes and toys off the floor, and there weren't crushed pieces of cracker in my carpet.
I didn't react to sudden noises by saying "Noise!", I didn't open the cabinet and hear "More, more?" and I didn't see the little things as so important.
Since Thursday night, I have had the opportunity to remember what it was like before I had Micheal. My husband decided to go hunting with his dad, and he took our child with him so that Micheal could hang out with his grandma. Plus, it was my LAST AND FINAL MASTER'S CLASS EVER! So, he went to her instead of her coming down to him.
Anyway, I got to do the things I've been wanting to do this weekend, and it has been wonderful!
I got to have one last hoorah with my sister, who will be moving away from us next week. But, I can't talk about that. I got to go Christmas shopping without having to worry about when I had to be back home, and I finished my shopping! Then, Amanda Sue came over, and we wrapped our Christmas presents and had girl time fun! I had forgotten how much fun it is to just hang out with a great friend and not have to worry about babies and husbands wanting attention and other things needing my attention. I got to have conversations with Amanda that opened my eyes to things that I've been wondering, and I got to share time with the people that I love, other than my husband and child.
I realized that I have been neglecting certain things since my child was born, the most important of those, myself and my friendships.
But, in the end, I find myself wondering what time my child will be back home, and I can't wait to hear him ask for hugs and kisses, and say thank you for everything that goes his way, whether I gave it to him, or if he gave it to himself.
What did I do before I had kids?
Does it really matter? Because it's so much more fun now! And he gives me so many more things to laugh about!

I am Woman, Let Me Cry!

Ever since the stupid buyout of AT&T Wireless by Cingular, we've had some creative cell phone bills. We opted to stay with the default carrier that picked up our contract, and have been happy with their service for the past few months. But, when our carrier officially cut all ties with AT&T, we had to go into the store and have a piece in our phones switched out, so that it would officially be all our carrier, and nothing else. My husband took his in a couple of weeks ago and had his SIM card changed out, no problem. So, yesterday, since he's been off forever, he took my phone to get "updated."
When I got home, I asked for my phone, and he told me that they couldn't get mine "unlocked" or some crap like that, so they just transferred all my phone numbers, and then gave me a new phone. It is just like my old one, except it's not blue, it's grey, ugh. And, they lost all my photos that were on there. Like the ones of my child being goofy, and the things that I had seen that I didn't have my camera with me, but I had my phone. I was pretty upset that I had lost my phone, and I had had a long day, so the tears started flowing.
That's when my husband starting getting defensive. Why do they do that? Let a woman cry if a woman wants to grieve the loss of a phone and all her photos!
Then, to top it off, when they transferred my phone numbers, they doubled and tripled almost all of them, and now I have to go back and delete all the repeats. Stupid minimum wage phone company workers.

Lazy bones!

Just a moment ago, I received this short e-mail from my husband. He is off work for the 18th day in a row, just because he wants to, so he is watching my child today...

910......3 numbers, no big deal.......till today....910 has great signifcance today.....on this great day 910 represents the time that jr decided to wake up today.....and since it was good enough for him to sleep to 910 i figured it was good enough for me.....so now i guess we can both be classified as worthless and lazy...he is his daddy's child....later.

I can't believe it! Any time I want to sleep in, the boy has to wake up between 6:30 and 7 in the morning... But NO... when it's Daddy at home, they sleep until 9! What the heck?!?

Here Today, Gone Tomorrow

Yesterday in church, I was listening to our associate pastor drone on about the same point for too many minutes. In doing so, I happened to fall victim to my lack of decent sleep the night before. And twice, my husband caught me. So, not wanting to give him too much to nag at me about later, I tried to keep my mind occupied with other things that would keep me awake, since the ever-continuous sermon kept going on.

In doing so, I noticed that there was a gentleman that used to lead our Sunday school class, who was always impeccably dressed, was not so impecible this morning. He was wearing a shirt that had a bodice one color, the collar a different color, and each sleeve was a different color as well. I was drawn to it the way you're drawn to a car wreck. I wanted to look, just to be sure I was seeing what I was seeing, but it was so grotesque that I couldn't take my eyes away.

And then I started thinking. I know, wrong thing to do, but I did it anyway. Looking at his shirt, it looked like the ones that were really popular in the late eighties, early nineties, which was about the time that he was in college. And, being the fit, muscular man that he is, he probably hasn't changed sizes since then, so all of the clothes he used to wear probably still fit. So, he chooses to wear them, still.

Herein lies my dilemma. Do I wear clothes that are out of style now, or are the clothes I wear still timeless enough that it doesn't matter? Do I have enough sense to know which clothes are out of date now, and not to wear them? Or am I getting dressed every morning and being a distraction to my students as I stand in front of them? Even worse, is there anyone that would tell me that a certain outfit shouldn't be worn anymore? My husband sure wouldn't know.
I just don't want to look like that other guy when I go out in public.

The Apple is Red

When I was going to school to be a teacher, I decided that I liked the 3rd to 5th grade range the best. Junior high kids scare me, I didn't want to teach high school where they were all bigger than me, and I didn't want to go lower than third grade because that was when you taught kids how to read and write, and that was my biggest fear: being responsible for the literacy development of twenty kids. So, I am now teaching high school. Ironic, I know.

Then, we wanted to start a family. We were so excited about the baby, and what to name him, and what he would look like, that I forgot about all my fears. Then this little angel was born, and for over a year, I've been watching him grow up and just been amazed at how fast he's growing up and all the things that he's learning.

Then, I hear a bunch of other parents of toddlers talk about all the things that they are teaching their children. And, suddenly, my fear returns. I don't think I'm teaching him all the right things. Or even ANY of the right things! How do I know what to teach him first? There are so many things, and I don't even know developmentally where he's even supposed to be right now!
He learns new words everyday, he knows to say please if he wants something, and to say thank you when he gets it. He pretty much can communicate exactly what he wants with either words, gestures, or grunts. He can recognize many different objects by either their picture or looking out the window, he can tell you what cows, horses, chickens, ducks, Mickey Mouse, dogs, monkeys, lions and a few other animals sound like, and he can name a whole bunch of different body parts and point to them when you ask where they are.

But are these the kinds of things I am supposed to be teaching him? Are there more important things we should be working on instead of colors and how many pencils are in the picture? Why didn't anyone tell me when he was born all the kinds of things he's supposed to be able to do by certain milestones in his life? And don't even get me started on potty-training...

Can't we just go back to seeing if he can raise his head and roll from his tummy to his back?

What he says goes!

When I was pregnant, both sets of grandparents talked about what they wanted to be called by the new baby when it was old enough to talk. Jonathan and I both agreed that whatever the baby decided to call them, that was what everyone else would be stuck calling them for ever after. It was a big responsibility for such a little person, but we knew that our little one would do just fine.
The grandmothers, though, had different ideas. Both of them have aversions to certain names because of the grandmother before them, and both of them have one name that they just really don't want to be called. His mother didn't want to be called "Mamaw" because that's what we call her mother-in-law. My mother didn't want to be called "Grandma" because that's what we called her mother-in-law. So, his mother decided she wanted to be just plain Grandma, and my mother wanted to put a little bit of a flair on an old thing, and she decided she wanted to be called "Grandmama", with a rolling "r". It sounded very aristocratic.

Well, little Micheal is now at the remembering people and their names stage, and both of his grandmothers are here every month, alternately. So, he knows them pretty well, and he's working on calling them by name.

Grandma has been pushing her name, and Grandmama is working on hers. The only problem is that they aren't coming out the way they wanted. Micheal calls them both "Mamaw". So, while my mom was here, we tried to change it a little bit so that there was a difference between the two at least. So, my mom now answers to "Memaw" and we saved "Mamaw" for his mom. Now we just have to work on the two "Papaws". He doesn't quite see them as often.

So, the lesson of the day is that you can't always have it your way. Grandkids don't follow the same rules as Burger King.

Blessing in Disguise

This week has been pretty painful, and I don't think it's over yet. I will probably have to return to work and somehow convince the kids that I really can't talk louder than a whisper and they need to be quiet enough to hear me. We'll see how long that lasts.

At home, though, has been a different story. I have been able to sit back and, without commenting too much, watch my little one be himself. Micheal is getting so big every day, and this week, I got to watch him grow up just a little bit more. Usually, I work all week long and get to hang out with him on the weekends. So, I look forward to weeks off from school so that we can hang out longer. The neatest part, though, was that I got to just sit and watch. I didn't have other stuff that I just HAD to get done, or a meal that had to get finished, or anything like that. I got to watch him play, I got to watch him interact with my mom, and her puppy dog, and I got to hear him add more words to his everyday growing vocabulary.

Sometimes I forget exactly how far he's come from just a short eighteen months ago, and sometimes I forget that eighteen months really is a short amount of time, not a long one like it gets to feeling like sometimes.

So, this year, when people ask me how my Thanksgiving went, I'll be able to tell them that it was WONDERFUL! (despite the fact that it really was pretty painful.)

Now, I really can't wait until Christmas! :)

New Weight Loss Trend

I have decided to write a book and sell it for $19.95 each, plus a nominal fee for shipping and handling. There are so many other ideas of how to lose weight, and none of them are as fast acting as this one.
The only drawback is that it's a one-time deal, and it may not work the same for everyone. So, I guess it won't sell a lot of books. Good thing I'm not quitting my day job.

Monday before we left I weighed myself, just to see if I could remember how much I weighed beforehand. As of this afternoon, in three days I have lost seven pounds. So much for a water only diet.

I guess this means that I'll probably gain it all back once I start eating again, but I don't see that being tomorrow, either. So, while everyone else is stuffing their faces with turkey, dressing, cheesy green beans, fruit salad, deviled eggs, sweet potato casserole and hot buttered rolls, I'll be enjoying liquid pain medications, ice water, and a lollipop that makes my whole head numb.

Ah... there are things to be thankful for this season...

This is my only voice now

Well, surgery this morning went fine, and I was out of there in a short three hours. So, no big deal. The worst part is that I can't talk. It hurts to swallow, it hurts to think about swallowing, and it feels like there is a cotton ball stuck in the back of my throat. Yuck.

I would never tell him this, but I am getting more and more thankful that my mother will be here tomorrow. Jonathan doesn't understand that he has to be the one to watch what his child is doing every minute the little man is awake, because there is no guarantee that I'm going to be awake and watching him, even if he is in the same room as Mommy.

Anyone have any other suggestions on what I can eat, though? Ice cream and yogurt and pudding and popsicles are all dairy based, and they are all causing that crap to stay in the back of my throat. I need something that won't leave a milky aftertaste. Doc said I couldn't have hot soups yet, though, because I don't want to lose the scabs on my cuts. Yuck. Colder is better.
So, ice water and grape juice are my new food favorites... no matter how much I want some fried catfish, or some Doritos, or the chicken dish that a friend brought over for dinner, I just can't.
This bites.

Getting nervous...

I don't "do" hospitals.

My only visits to date have been to see ill grandparents, beautiful new babies, or other ill family members, and then the only time I stayed myself was eighteen months ago when I had my child. And that time wasn't really as bad as other friends of mine have had. I walked out on my own two days later and was back to my usual routine, with just a little less sleep at night. And my mom was there to help.

I don't like being under the weather. I don't like having to have people help me do anything. I don't like not being in control. So, tomorrow isn't going to be fun. Luckily, my surgery isn't at a hospital (which sounds bad, I know), but instead at the Surgery Center, where I have heard that they are extremely nice and helpful. So, at least I don't have to do the hospital thing, but it's still outpatient surgery, and it still sucks. Tomorrow is the beginning of the week of heck for me. I have tried to write down all the things that need to be done tomorrow, and for the rest of the week, so that no matter how I feel, I will at least know what needs to get done.

But the best part of all, my mom is coming on Tuesday. Then I know that all will be well, because my mom will always take care of everything. Sometimes it's nice to have Mom come take care of you. Even when you don't usually like it .

Problem Solved

Recently, I have posted gross things about myself. More specifically, the fact that I have "cryptic tonsils." Well, Monday, this problem will be solved. I will have what I like to call "No-Mo" tonsils. I have surgery scheduled at 7am Monday morning... God awful early for surgery, sure hope the doc is a morning person!
Then, it's all good for me, because even though I will be in more pain that I care to think about, with no epidural in sight, I will at least have access to liquid pain medicines, and as much ice cream and popsicles as I can fit into 24 hours a day. I've even been warned that I may lose a few pounds... how is this not a WIN- WIN situation? Besides, the pain, I mean. But, hey, I had a child, I can do this too. But, childbirth didn't last 7 - 10 days. That's how long they keep saying that it will take me to feel better. Ugh.

So, this is also fair warning that my next post may be a little late in coming, and if it is next week, please go easy on me. I may be so taken care of by medicines that I may not know what I am really saying. Just a precaution... don't want too many people to be upset about not seeing a new post next week, if that's what happens! :) Pray for me, and the doctors taking care of me!

Tears in my Eyes

When I was pregnant, everyone told me that my emotions would change, and that I would cry at a drop of a hat. Well, I haven't really done that, but I do cry at things that are unexpected. For example, this song by Rascal Flatts about Sarah Beth.
I have their latest cd, and I guess I never got to that song on the cd, because they just started wearing it out on the radio, and every time I hear it, I cry. Most specifically, the minute they sing about "where his hair had been, softly she touches just skin."
EVERY SINGLE TIME, there are tears streaming down my face as the song plays on, like they don't know that they need to stop playing until I compose myself.
I don't know why these tears happen. But, I have thought of a few reasons it might be:

1. The boy is the kind of boy I want my Micheal to grow up to be, compassionate, kind, and unselfish.
2. I know that there are not kids like that out there anymore. I teach, and I see selfish kids every day that wouldn't shave their head for someone else. Considering they can't believe that wearing my hair crooked doesn't humiliate me.
3. There aren't adults out there that would be compassionate for that girl anymore. Compassion is not a trait that our society promotes anymore. What can we do about that?
4. Work is stressing me out, and I can't get out of this frustrating rut.

So, until then, I will be driving around, listening to my radio or cd, and streaming tears as I go.

I am Dedicated, if nothing else!

Even though our tiny little 1-A school doesn't have a football team, we do have a pretty good basketball team. One year, the girls are better than the boys, and another year, vice versa. I don't know what the tilt is this year, but the season hasn't really gotten underway, as the girls have only had one game, and the boys haven't even had one, yet. Nonetheless, our Homecoming is scheduled for tomorrow night, as our girls play one team, and our boys play a scrimmage against another team. Sounds like bad planning to me... but that's neither here nor there.

As in most high schools, the week leading up to Homecoming is Spirit week, with each day having a different theme. Monday was Overalls Day, because we're going to "Haul off the Lions" (or whatever their mascot is.) Tuesday was Wear All White Day, for "Keeping your Eyes on the Lions" (or something dumb like that.) Wednesday was Mismatched Day, and today was Twinkie Day (Match another person). Tomorrow is Spirit day, where we wear red and black to support the Pirates. I didn't know about Monday, so I didn't wear my overalls, even though I would have, since they are so comfortable. I wasn't about to look like a marshmellow and wear all white on Tuesday, so I skipped that day, too. So, I knew I had to do something good for Mismatch Day. I wore some pants and a shirt that had no business even being worn in the same week, let alone together on the same day. I also wore some funky socks with my tennis shoes, and some funky earrings. The other thing I did was wear my hair all jacked up in some lopsided ponytails on weird spots on my head. One kid didn't think they were weird enough, so he fixed them. Then he told me that I needed to wear it like that all the time.
After I was done laughing, he told me that if I wore my hair like that for a week, he would pass my Algebra class for the rest of the year. HOW COULD I RESIST?
This student should be a senior, but he is still a sophomore because he never gets enough credits a year to go on to the next grade level. He is completely capable of passing, but he is just LAZY and doesn't want to do enough work to pass. So, we made a deal. I wear my hair like a person without a mirror and vertigo for five school days, and he'll do all of his work and pass Algebra for the rest of the school year.
The catch?
If I don't hold up my end, in these five designated school days, he gets a free 100 as a test grade, which I don't give lightly.
If he doesn't hold up his end, all year long, then I get possession of his favorite hat, which I have never EVER seen out of his sight.
Hmmmm.... who gets the better deal here?
People around school are already looking at me, asking me if I forgot that yesterday was Mismatch day. I just keep saying, "No. I know. I'm just dedicated to doing ANYTHING it takes to help a student pass."
My hope is that once kids figure out what I'm doing, they'll know that I'm not the giant ogre that some of them think I am, and that they will work a little harder to earn the grades that I know they could get, as long as they are willing to put in a little effort.

God celebrates seasons, too!

Today while I was driving to town to run the errands that I had put off for two weeks, God showed me that He celebrates seasons, too! He made me feel like I was getting my own personal show of His emotions, and that Fall is his favorite season.
I know this because as I was driving down the road, God showered me with his version of confetti... beautifully different colored leaves!
So, share with God in His personal joy, and enjoy the change in the weather!

Farm Life- But not on a Farm

I am used to my dogs barking at things in the middle of the night. I think they are upholding some kind of guard-dog rules or something, because anything that moves near my house after it's dark is fair game for chase. I like to tell my students that they bark AND bite strangers after dark, even though I know they don't, because I would rather not have student visitors after dark.
This morning, however, we were awoken at 3 AM by my dogs incessant, worried, barking. If they had been using words, I would have woken up to phrases such as, "Get away from my house! You don't belong here! Get away from my food! I'm gonna bite you! Listen to me, sucker, I'm only gonna warn you once!"

Needless to say, I woke up a little worried. My worry was compounded when I heard loud thuds in between barks. My husband woke up to the barking, too, and immediately went for his gun, while I went to the window to see what the fuss was all about. When I looked outside, I saw a huge shadow, and I had to look again.

It was our neighbor's horses. They had busted the fence next to our house and had come to eat our grass instead of their pasture grass. The biggest problem was that only three of the five horses had gotten out, so the two that were still behind the fence were feeling jipped. So, the two inside and the three outside the fence raced each other up and down the length of the fence on one side of our house, one taunting the other.

Knowing that these horses were very valuable to my neighbor, I had to call him and wake him up and tell him that his horses were in my front yard. Luckily, without any other major incident, all three horses were returned back home, and put away with the other two into the barn.

Now, my yard has been aerated in horseshoe patterns, and there is a little bit of extra fertilizer in my grass. I just hope that this isn't an occurence that happens very often. My neighbor and I are great neighbors. He stays at his house and we stay at ours. We like living out in the middle of nowhere. I just hope he forgives me for waking him up so early.

Twenty-five...plus two

I think that birthdays make you worse than the year before. My body isn't the same as it was a year ago, my mind isn't the same, and my attitude isn't the same. So, I have decided to do like everyone else does. I am going to just count one birthday from now on. And then celebrate the anniversary of it every year after that. So, I choose to celebrate the anniversary of my twenty-fifth birthday.

Last night I decided to take Micheal into downtown, so that we could go to Scare on the Square. Jonathan was supposed to get off work at six, which was coincidentally the same time the fun started. My only problem was that I didn't plan on going to this event, nor have I planned on taking a seventeen-month old trick-or-treating, so I didn't get him a costume this year. We had a little policeman last year, and this year, he still doesn't understand the idea of dressing up, so I decided to save myself the money on a costume. Luckily, we have a wonderful grandma who knows that his favorite character is Elmo, so she bought him a windsuit covered with Elmo's face. So, we wore that downtown, and it was just as good as any other $35 Elmo costume we might have bought.

The part that wasn't good was the stupid-ness called Scare on the Square. There were multitudes of people there, of varying ages, with varying degrees of appropriateness in costume choices. Jonathan called and had to work an extra two hours, my sister was out with her friends, and my other friends had their own family and a Halloween party to attend (as New Orleans looters!) So, Micheal and I decided to go anyway. Glad we did, so now I know that we really don't have to go again. It was a bunch of "booths" with candy-crazed midgets pushing their way to the front, trying to get to the candy that each group was passing out. Needless to say, I left my little Elmo in his stroller, and we didn't push our way through to get any candy that he couldn't eat. We did, however, get a balloon, the only thing he really wanted anyway. :)
So, now I know that next year, unless he begs, we don't need to go. Maybe when he's old enough to walk around without acting like a fool. But by the way others there were acting, that may be longer than a year.

Love Is...

Having an ice-free windshield when it is frigidly cold outside... because he started your car and defrosted it before he left for work.
Isn't that nice!?!

Changing of the Guard

Every year, I change purses twice a year, sometimes more if the mood strikes me, or if one breaks before it's time. Usually, I go out and buy a new one, but I knew that this time, I had one that was still in good condition that I still like. So, today I switched purses. I know, I know, you're thinking, are you kidding me? This is what your post is about? Well, in a way, yes.
I just wanted to give the outgoing purse it's proper respectful shout-out for a job well done.
I found this purse at Belk while on an extended lunch break from our Master's classes one weekend. While I was debating about buying the $40 purse or the $10 purse, my better judgment got the best of me and I went for budget instead of coming fashion trends. When I went to pay for it, the surprise was that it rang up for $1.99!! NO JOKE!!
So, I have carried this purse around for a couple months, using it as a mini diaper bag sometimes, as a snack-hider for movie-going, and countless other things that one would think a $2 purse just couldn't handle.

So, I am changing out purses, and wallets, and all other things in my purse, kind of like a spring cleaning, only it's not spring. And I can only hope that this next Holder-Of-All-Things "holds up" as well to the demands of my lifestyle as the outgoing HOAT.

Maybe this time I'll use the purse for good instead of evil. Or maybe it will make me a super mom like every other mom's purse I've ever seen.

Hmmmm... maybe that's a lot to ask from a fashion accessory.

Fashion Follower...

I succumbed to comfort.

I know, this isn't always the idea that you're supposed to follow, but in this case, it was all I could do. When the school took away my carpet and replaced it with this yucky tile, my knees immediately starting disagreeing with their decision. I am not an old woman, but my legs would make me think that I was. After waiting tables for six years, and now teaching, because I'm not smart enough to get a job where you sit down all day, my legs have the spider veins like a fifty year old woman. So, when I borrowed this girl's shoes one day, because she swore they were the most comfortable shoe she owned, I found one that didn't make me ache, and I had to have them.
So, she told me she could get them cheap, and I put in an order. I just got them this week, have already worn them to school, and have noticed a definite difference in the pains in my knees. YEAH! The only problem is that they're just not that attractive, as far as a shoe goes. But, now that I am a year older, I just don't care.

It's all about being comfortable!

My Cup Runneth Over

I found myself staring at him, wondering if I could ever love another any more than I love him at this one moment. And really, not just at this moment, but every moment I'm with him. It was just the two of us today, and at random points during the day, he would walk over to me and give me sweet hugs and kisses, and when I told him how much I loved him, he would look at me and just give me those eyes that let me know that he loves me just as much.

What did I do to be so blessed by God that I have someone that loves me just as much as I love him? And how amazing that even though he didn't get to choose me as his mom, like his daddy chose me as his wife, and I get to keep him forever and ever and ever!

Thank God for little boys!

Are you kidding me?

You would think that if you're an Ear, Nose and Throat doctor that you would keep your ears, nose and throat relatively clean and in good appearance. Kind of like walking advertisements for yourself.
Apparently not everyone feels the way I do. Not even the ENT doc I saw yesterday. He had little clumps of black hairs growing out of his ears. Both of them. It almost looked like a layer of black moss growing on a rock. Except the rock was not a rock, but the insides and outsides of this man's ears. Somebody should tell him. I mean, really. It was almost gag-worthy.
Luckily, I won't have to stare at his ears again unless my chunks come back again in the next few months. Ugh. That's a whole different story from a whole different day. I'm just ready to get rid of these darn tonsils.

I just couldn't resist...

This is what my husband tells me last night at the fair. All I could do was laugh between my exaggerated gags.

The big thing to do this time of year in our town is to go to the fair. It’s nothing as big as the State Fair in Dallas, but it makes us release about a fourth of our students in order to go show their animals. Four years ago, I would have cringed, but now it’s not so bad. Now, I know that these kids put their heart and soul into a pig, heifer, rabbit, or goat, and then once a year they take that animal to the Expo center to have them judged against other FFA members’ animals from other schools.

So, we thought that as much as Micheal loves animals, he would like to go to the fair. And he did! He walked all over the whole fairgrounds, and then ate a corn dog, and just plain enjoyed himself and his balloons. I enjoyed a funnel cake: the main reason for my attendance at the fair, besides my kids and their animals.

When it was finally time to leave, Jonathan told me to wait, because when he was getting my funnel cake, he saw something that he just couldn’t resist getting, and he’d be right back.

When he came back he had something that looked deep fat fried. When I asked what it was, he told me that it sounded gross now, but he just couldn’t resist it and had to know. It was a deep-fried Twinkie. GROSS!

After he finished it, I asked what he thought:
“Nothing to write home about.”

“But definitely blog-worthy!”

"I figured as much."

"But, honey, I just can't resist it!"

Homeward Bound

Well, after being away from my house for one whole week, I have decided that even though we still have no power as of yet, I am still heading home. More and more people are getting power around our house, so I am hopeful that it means that we will have power sometime soon. Maybe not this weekend, but sometime at the beginning of the week we will have power and I will be able to sleep in my own bed. The plan right now is to go back to Nac and stay at Melinda's while she's away at an interview in Houston.
And wonder of all wonders, my husband will be off work Sunday, Monday, and hopefully Tuesday! The only way that could be better was if we had power at the house and could all stay together.
I also got a call from my babysitter that she has power now, so I won't have to drive from here to kingdom come to get Micheal to an air conditioned house while I go to work. Wahoo!
God is reminding me of many things this week, and I am thankful for the house that I have been allowed to stay at, the food that they have provided us, and the love they have shown to me and my child.
Keep praying for the powerless!

Spring Break... A little early

Well, I thought I was going home today, but the phone call today from my in-town messenger was that school has been cancelled until Monday, at least. So, there is no point to me going home today, because there is no school, and my house is still without power. I was going to have to try to sleep on my sister's couch if I did go back and have school. What to do about a babysitter is even more of a question. Our babysitter has no power right now, either, so she is out at her aunt's house in Garrison, the complete opposite direction from my school. I would have had to leave my sister's house at about 6:15am just to get him over to Garrison so that I could drive back to school in order to be there by 7:40am. So, God knows the situation that everyone else is in, and has granted us a little bit of an early Spring Break. At least, that's what I'm trying to call it, because that's probably what's going to happen. We're probably not going to be able to waive all these missed days and we're going to have to skip one of our breaks. I'm trying not to be depressed about it, but it will really be a depressing thing for my kids... especially my seniors that have already planned group trips together for both our winter and spring break.

So, here we go again... waiting to hear some news... hoping that the next time my husband goes to our house that we have power! I'm just not getting my hopes up too high. It could be worse. I could be stuck in a house with a mother-in-law that I can't stand. Thankfully, we get along, and I can beat her at my favorite game of Phase 10.
Maybe now that I know I'm not going home for a while, my friend and I can get together for dinner! :) This is me... trying to find a good side to all this crap.

No Plan, Stan

There is still no power at my house, that I know of. I'm still hanging out in Mesquite, doing my in-law's laundry and other things that need doing around the house since I have nothing else to do, and I can't sit on the Internet all day long. I'm avoiding balancing the checkbook, because I don't want to see how much money I don't have. I was going to try to have dinner with my friend here, and get away from the house for a little bit, but timing isn't good right now, so instead I am thawing out some steaks for dinner tonight.
The work day that they scheduled for school today was cancelled because of no power at school. Today the phone call was that there was power in one of the buildings, but not mine, and that we were going to shoot for school on Thursday. So, that means I'm going to go home tomorrow afternoon. This should be interesting. I'm hoping that my house will have power by that time, and then I won't have to try to find someone that will let me borrow their couch to sleep on and a place for my child to sleep that would be air conditioned.
I haven't seen my husband since Thursday evening, and it has been almost a week. I know that he misses me, but I know that he REALLY misses little Micheal. He calls as often as he can, working daily 12 hour shifts, and I know he is dead-dog tired from all that stress. I just want all this to be fixed already and life to go back to normal. I like schedules and I like plans. I don't like this taking it one day at a time type of living. I wouldn't do good in the wilderness.

Keep praying for all those people that still don't have water or power.

Give me a Marga-Rita

As my sister already informed most of my friends and adoring public, Micheal, Melinda and I rode out Hurricane Rita with the In-Laws in Mesquite. That wouldn't have been as upsetting if it had been my decision, or had only been the five of us. But, my father-in-law also wanted his parents away from home, and since they couldn't fit in my car, he came down and got them.

Seeing as how there is still no power at my house, and my husband is having to work 12 hour shifts every day, instead of 3 or 4 days a week, and how my school still has no power, I was told that there was no reason to come home. ( No electricity at home = no blog updates or Internet games when bored.) I keep getting daily updates from school saying no school tomorrow, as they are looking at it on a day by day basis, which is bad planning and not very helpful for those of us that are not at home right now. The phone call today was that our superintendent (who before this I thought was an intelligent man) wanted the teachers to come to school tomorrow, electricity, water, nor gas or not, and we could call it a work day. I told my go-between that there was no way I was driving all the way home just so that I could sit in an un-powered, no AC house for however long it takes just to go up to school for "at least an hour" when they don't even have electricity there. This is bad planning. It's interesting how many flaws in an emergency plan come out when there is a real emergency.
So, when I do get a phone call that there is school tomorrow, I guess I have to quickly pack up my car and my child and pray that there will be electricity (and water) at my house when I get there, so that I can go back to work. And if not, I guess we'll be bathing with the two cases of water that I bought before I left the house, and cooking whatever food I can find on the grill outside.

Bad weather sucks.

Drive Thru Window Now Closed

Tonight was Open House at our school. I don't mind Open House, not at all. I do, however, mind the mindset that some parents come to Open House with. They don't come thinking that Open House is really just a high school version of Meet the Teacher, like they should. Instead, they come thinking that Open House is more of a Parent-Teacher Conference, in five minutes or less.

I don't like this because I have three or more sets of parents and students in my room at one time, and I have to do group "individual" conversations with each child and their parent(s), in front of the other parents and their student. How nice is that? If you were worried about your child's grades, just wait in Mrs. A's room and you'll hear how bad other kids are doing, and you won't feel so bad about your kid anymore!

I got smart about it this year. I didn't talk about specific grades, instead, I pawned it off on the kid. When Mom asked how little Johnny's grades are, I asked little Johnny why Mom hasn't seen his assignment sheet that should have all of his grades written in order?!? That way, it was off my shoulders and onto L.J.'s! :) Can you say grounded?

The majority of my parent contact this evening was with parents of my Geometry students, who on Friday while I was in school working on my Master's, were in class cheating on a test with a sub that just let them. There are so many things wrong with this situation that it's a whole 'nuther post all in itself. And, seeing as the drive-thru window has now closed, I am going to save that one for a rainy day and go to bed now. Long story short is that a few kids didn't even tell Mom and Dad that they had a test, let alone that they all failed it after they all cheated. Can you say even more grounded?

I'm exhausted. I wonder if this is how speed-dating would feel at the end of the night?

Anything to help a friend!

I'm not a very superstitous person, but I will try anything, especially if it's to help a friend in need.

My wonderful friend Amanda Sue is 41 weeks pregnant, and waiting to see what her little angel's face looks like. I told her all the remedies that people told me when I was pregnant and wanting to be able to see my toes again, and so far, none of them have worked. So, yesterday, I went home and got to work.

I cooked three pans of enchiladas, one for my family, one for the other Amanda that has her one month old, and one for my friend Amanda Sue and her family. I know that the way to Daniel's heart is through meat and lots of cheese. I figured that if I started preparing for Dillon's arrival, then I might be interrupted during my well-intentioned cooking, and get to be there instead. Well, that didn't work.

So, I tried Option #2. When my other Amanda was pregnant with her first child, her water broke in her kitchen, and then we got to see Reid. Then, when I was visiting their new baby, Layne, four days before my due date, my water broke in her kitchen, and then we had Micheal. So, I figured that there had to be something lucky about that kitchen, so I went to deliver her pan of enchiladas, hoping that my presence in my friend's kitchen would cause Amanda Sue's water to break. Again, no such luck. Maybe it's because they moved and it's not the same kitchen. Maybe I should take Amanda Sue to the old kitchen and see if it's powers will work on her as well! :)

Like I said, I'm not really superstitous, it's just anything to help a friend out! :)

I've Learned...

I've learned that...

- I can run as fast as an Olympian when I hear a scream coming from my child, no matter where he is in the house.

- A gagging child is not the same as a choking child, and that crying is a good sign of choking, because it means his airway is clear.

- Happiness is always intensified when near a child that is laughing.

- When I hear bad news, I immediately think about how it would affect my child/family.

- I can't remember what I did in my spare time before I had a child.

- No matter how much my child wants to be a "big boy," sometimes he just needs to still be a baby, where Mommy fixes all wrongs and heals all ills.
And the funny part is, I need him to be a little baby again, too. I like to be able to hold him like I did when he was born and wanted to be held.

I've learned that I define myself by my child and his personality, whether I'm supposed to or not, and am striving to be a good mom to a great child.

Looks of disgust

Saturday, Micheal and I met in Tyler with one of my best friends from Dallas. She used to live here, and then graduated and high-tailed it to a bigger city and a better job. So, we found some time we were both not too busy, and we met up together half-way between our cities. :)

My poor little child, rode all the way up there, about an hour and a half in the car, and then went straight into his stroller, because I wasn't about to let him walk around Foley's by himself. Little Micheal is usually okay with going shopping, as long as it doesn't involve too many location changes and not too much non-movement time. As long as he is continuously moving, he doesn't care. So, we got there a little before she did, so we decided to look around a little bit while waiting for her to get there. Plus, I was hoping his newfound dislike of strangers would wear off a little bit by the time she got there, since he hadn't seen her in a while.

The initial meeting between the two went decently well, but then Micheal decided that he was done sitting in his stoller. So, I let him out to walk, since I knew we were almost done.

This was my stupid mistake, but everyone has to learn something new everyday, and this was my learning moment of the day. It probably didn't help that he was probably hungry, as it was 12:30 in the afternoon, and he had had breakfast four hours before. So, the tantrum began. And, oh Lord, did it begin. My wonderful angel has never had a tantrum such as this in public before. If we were at home and he had thrown a fit like this, I would have put him down and let him scream it out in the middle of the floor in his room. And then when he was done, he could come out. Or, let him scream while walking all over the whole house, because then I'll just keep walking into a different room. This is how we handle 15-month old baby boy tantrums. He's not old enough to really understand time-outs or spankings, but we make our own adjustments in his discipline. Oh well.

So, back at Foley's... He started throwing his fit, first lying down on the floor and kicking his feet and then when I picked him, he pulled the ever popular go-limp-and-she-can't-hold-me. So, my remedy to that was to just drape him over my shoulder. Then, the little smartie-pants arched his back to try to jump backwards out of my arms. So, my friend, being the smart person that she is, offered to stay in out place in line to pay for the items I wanted, so I gave her the card I wanted to use, and showed her where my license was, and the screaming child and I could make our way to the door.

This was where the fun began for me. I knew where our car was parked, but I swear that Foley's made it so that there was no quick and easy way to get there without making many, many turns through people that didn't know how not to look at me.

It was soooo embarassing! I know that when I am out somewhere, and some poor mother is having trouble with their little one, that I am usually sympathetic and try to be aware that the face I may have on is not one of disgust or loathing, but one of sympathy and compassion for the mother. But, not one person that I passed on our way out the door had that same thought for me. Instead, every single woman that I passed by looked at me as though I should be beaten for the way I was treating my child, because I must have been beating him for him to be screaming that way. I was almost in tears by the time we got to the front doors, and the minute we got to those doors, he stopped screaming. Little terd. Once he had stopped his screaming, the only thing I could do was to sit him down in the car and tell him how unacceptable his behavior was, and how we don't hit Mommy, and how we don't scream in a store. This went over just like I was trying to tell him how to find the derivative of a quadratic function or something. It was horrible. So, he screamed all the way to lunch, and then he was fine during lunch, because he was getting to eat food.

Again, it just goes to show that the way to a man's heart is through his stomach, whether he is fifty, fifteen years, or fifteen months.

Anniversary Gift - A little early

My husband is not a creative gift- giver. In fact, I usually write down a very short list of very specific things that I would enjoy about a week before my birthday, because then it starts our gift-giving season. My birthday is in October, his is in November, Christmas in December, and our anniversary in early January.

Thus, I was very pleasantly and emotionally affected this week when I came home from school to find out that my husband had been listening FIVE YEARS AGO when I told him of a secret dream of mine.

Monday afternoon, I came home from school, dead dog tired after a Monday dealing with high schoolers, and was trying to clean up my kitchen before I started scrounging around the kitchen for some dinner plans. I found a blank, empty envelope and asked my husband what he had forgotten to mail. He told me that he had bought me a card and forgot to put it in there. I quickly racked my brain, wondering whether (God forbid) I had forgotten any kind of important date. I quickly assured myself that I know dates WAY better than my husband does and maybe he was just mistaken, or even more correctly assumed, just messing with me.
I asked him to forgive me while I giggled, and he said that he really had bought me a card and that it was in the dining room. So, I walked by the room, and my first thought was, "Why is that table pushed up so close to the windows?" And then I saw it...

MY OWN PIANO! With a card on top of it.

My secret dream ever since I was a kid taking piano lessons was to grow up and get a house big enough that I could dedicate one whole room as a music room. I'd get a black baby grand piano, and have my viola in one corner, and my piano in the middle of the room, and it would be just for me to go when I wanted to relax and play some music.

And he remembered this.

Our fifth anniversary is in January, and he thought ahead and decided he wanted to do something REALLY GOOD, and so he looked around and bought me a piano. It's not brand-new, but it's new to me, and I am so excited to get it tuned and fill my house with missed notes and joyous noise that my child can remember and then learn as he gets older.

I am so blessed to have the family that God has given me, and I can't believe that we will have been married five whole years in a few short months. I know that there are many other people out there that have been married much longer and think that five years is nothing, but I think that these five years are way more than many other families in my husband's profession will ever see, and I am thankful for that, and look forward to many more years with my little family.

What do you get the person who has everything?

We've all had the problem of trying to find a gift for someone who pretty much has everything they want already... and even if they didn't have it, they would buy it when they saw it. I have this situation with many people I would like to give gifts to in my life, and one such person is my wonderful babysitter, Bri-Bri. Her birthday was last week, and I knew that I paid her enough for her to buy whatever she wanted, but I still wanted her to know that I was making an effort. So, I got creative. I made her a card, and every word that is in italics and colored is a candy.

To Our MAzing Bri-Bri:

We thought we’d Take 5 to let you know exactly how Extra special we think you are. When we’re in a Crunch you’re always a Lifesaver! “Your boys” are like the 3 Musketeers, and no matter what kind of Goobers they are, or the Mounds of Whoppers they leave for you, you’re never a Butterfinger and things turn out perfectly.

There may have been a few Snickers from Airheads that think babysitting isn’t a worthy pastime, but Now and Later there’s NO ONE we’d rather trust with OUR boy with than you. Come Payday you deserve 100 Grand! Too bad we’ll never have that much to give. Thank you from the bottom of our hearts!
Happy Birthday!

Luckily, she thought it was pretty creative too, and I'm still allowed to leave my boy with the other woman in his life that loves him almost as much as his mommy. :)

I'm so excited!

Since January of 2003, I have been attending classes at SFA in order to get my master's degree in secondary mathematics education. I have enjoyed being able to get my master's without much cost to me, really nearly none, and without having to go like a real college student again. No early morning all week long classes, no dorms, and no yucky cafeteria food. We only go to SFA one Friday and Saturday a month, and then there were three summers where we went for a total of six weeks each summer. Now, during that time, some members of our class had to stay in a dorm, but I live close enough that I was able to shower in my own shower, and not the closet they call a shower that would cause a clausterphobic person to hyperventilate.

My point in all this is that I am finally in the home stretch! I have five class meetings left! I am so excited! This is the last August that I have any classes, and then next will be no more September classes and so on, until December, when we officially meet for learning for the last time.

Once that is over, I have to turn in a portfolio of all my work and how I've applied it to my teaching over the past three years, and then take a monstrous test over the topics we've discussed over the past three years, and then I will walk away with my master's degree! :)

The only thorn in my side about all this is that my little sister will have her Master's in December. So, she will have hers a few months before I will, and she will have finished hers in less time than it took me to get mine. But, I can always say that I got mine for free! :) Sometimes being a math teacher really pays off!

I've Noticed...

I live in the way, way out boonies, compared to most of you people that live in or near a city. I live about 25 minutes outside of a little town that most of you wouldn't even consider as a city. So, on my way to town, or to school, or to the sitter's house, I drive by mostly pastures and lots of cows and other such farm animals on these pastures. I was once told something that I didn't believe, but I have since paid better attention and now am a true believer.

I have noticed that any time I drive by a pasture with cows, they see me coming and at least one of them raises his or her tail and proceeds to relieve him/herself. I'm not joking! Every single time! It's almost like they see me coming and say "Oh No! Human!" And it scares the poop or pee out of them!

Next time you drive by a herd of cattle, pay attention, see what you find!

Sucks to Be Him

I found this on a news site, and thought that I should share it with my adoring public. The parts in italics are my own personal comments...

3 wives greet man after triple bypass surgery

LONDON - Some people bring flowers, others bring balloons. When Melvyn Reed's three wives showed up to visit him at the hospital, they brought an unexpected curtain call to his years as a double bigamist.
British police confirmed that after Melvyn Reed woke from his triple bypass heart operation earlier this year(wonder if stress caused his heart problems), his complicated marital affairs took a turn for a worse. All three of his spouses had turned up at the same time, despite his efforts to stagger their visits.

Media reports say that, upon realizing that something was amiss(and how did they realize this, did they know each other?), the wives held a meeting in the parking lot, and learned that they were all married to the same man.

The 59-year-old company director from Kettering in central England turned himself into police on May 12 saying he was married to three women at the same time, and confessed to bigamy, an illegal offense in Britain(where isn't it illegal, so I know not to move there!), London's Metropolitan Police said in a statement.

A spokeswoman for the Crown Prosecution Service confirmed that Reed had turned himself in to police in Wimbledon, south London in the presence of his lawyer, and admitted he was a bigamist.

He pleaded guilty to two charges of bigamy on July 19 at the Wimbledon Magistrates' court, and was given a suspended sentence of four months in prison and ordered to pay 70 pounds ($126) in costs, police said. (Is that ALL? $126? Are you kidding? Does he have to pay anything to each woman, at least?)

It wasn't immediately possible to reach Reed or his three wives. A phone call to one of the women went unanswered. Reed's lawyer Laurence Grant was not immediately available at his office for comment.

The Metropolitan Police said Reed married his first wife, Jean Grafton, in 1966, then left her without divorcing her. He went on to marry Denise Harrington in 1998, then married Lyndsey Hutchinson in 2003.

British media have widely reported that Reed recently moved back in with his first wife, Grafton. They say she is the mother of his three grown children.

The Metropolitan Police said Harrington and Hutchinson had sought advice on getting their marriages annulled. But media reports say lawyers have advised the women that their marriages were never valid.

Interesting, isn't it? How some people think that the law doesn't apply to them, or how one woman isn't enough for some men. What a jerk. This makes me very thankful that I am married to the ONE man who chose me to be his ONLY wife. :)

One of those days

Have you ever been in the shower and forgotten whether you were about to pick up the shampoo or the conditioner, and you couldn't remember whether you had already shampooed or not?

Have you ever shave your underarms and washed up, and then gotten out of the shower, dried off, and remembered you needed to shave your legs because you were planning on wearing shorts, so you had to get BACK in the shower just to shave?

Have you ever been in such a hurry to get out of the bathroom that you put your makeup on, and your lipstick, and then remembered that you forgot to brush your teeth?

I have.
Today, in fact!

I better get back on track by Monday when school starts. Ugh.

Just Like College

I couldn't resist sharing this with you...

20 Ways Parenthood is Just Like College

1. You feel like you're constantly being tested.

2. Someone's always smarter than you (or at least they think they are).

3. Your roommates are slobs, and they steal your food.

4. There's nothing in your bank account.

5. All-nighters.

6. You get kicked out of the library for leaving behind crumbs and creating a ruckus.

7. Keg parties and parties at Chuck E. Cheese produce the same kind of hangover.

8. You never seem to be able to get the place to yourself.

9. Naps.

10. You hate your roommates' music and they hate yours.

11. You can neither identify nor locate the source of that funky smell coming from your roommate's closet.

12. Five in the morning is really really early -- or really, really late -- depending on whether or not you've been to bed yet.

13. People talk to you while you're in the shower.

14. You're too exhausted to retain what you're reading.

15. Oh, now you can identify that smell. You forgot to take that half-eaten sandwich out of the backpack yesterday.

16. You're wearing your college sweatshirt again -- it's the cleanest thing you could find.

17. Someone always leaves the party crying.

18. Hey! How about pizza? Again!

19. You think you're the only one who feels clueless.

20. It goes so fast.

Some of these could just apply to a spouse, but I thought they were funny enough about my child.

Hope you get a giggle, too! :)

All Signs Point to...

Well, quite frankly, they all point to this year not being my favorite. Maybe I'll amend this statement in the near future, but today just wasn't a good day, and I don't know HOW tomorrow could be.

Our new principal handed out all these new things we're supposed to do, like decorate our rooms and new discipline techniques... Then I get to my room only to discover that our air conditioner doesn't work. Then I start putting desks back into place, only to find that most of them are stuck to the floor from when they re-did our floors. So, when they moved, they left holes in my one year old flooring.

Then I turned on my computer only to find that the updates they were supposed to do over the summer weren't done on my computer, because of some password problem or something... like they couldn't have called me.... harumph.

The only bright spot to my day is that they said we could leave at 3:15, and when I do, in mere minutes, it is to go and visit my newest "nephew," as I received a phone call yesterday evening announcing his impending arrival. I'm so excited! One baby boy here, and another little "nephew" coming soon! I knew I didn't need to get pregnant again yet! :) I'll have my baby fix plenty of times before I need another one.

Here's to hoping that the rest of the week shapes up better than today! :)

Nothing

I got nothing.

I have nothing in my head that I would consider funny, rude, thought-provoking or even remotely interesting.

This may be in part to the fact that it's Saturday, and on Monday I have to go back to work. I think just knowing that has somehow diminished my mental capabilities. I think I know that I am going to have to start thinking extra hard in just two days about how to plan out the rest of the school year, and I don't want to waste any unnecessary thought processes on anything else.

Sorry for being so lame.

Maybe I'll have more later this week. I'm expecting to become an "aunt" again any time now. I'll let you know.

There's No Stopping It

No matter how many times a day I check, time keeps going. No matter how many times I pray that it hasn't moved while little Micheal is taking a nap, allowing me to accomplish tasks without a child around, the minute hand still moves, clicking away the number of minutes that I have wasted being on the computer and not cleaning the floor.

Being a math teacher, I have known that time stops for no one, because we teach that it is the independent variable, as it waits for no one and depends on nothing. But, I was just hoping that since I had spent so much time working on my Master's this summer that I could maybe catch a break and time would at least slow down on this week I had off with my little man, and that Monday wouldn't come as fast as it had when I was going to school. Unfortunately, time kept its own schedule, and waited for no one, not even me, as good-intentioned as I was.

Today is now my last Friday of the summer. Monday starts back to work for me, and I can't believe that it's already here. Right now there are a bunch of rules and laws going around that may push the start of school back until the week after Labor Day. I don't think I like that. I mean, I know I complain about starting back already, but as long as we start that early, then we can have all the week long breaks for Winter Break, and Spring Break, and a whole week instead of just a few days at Thanksgiving, and two weeks at Christmas instead of just one. I'm so worried that once we start after Labor Day, they may cut out all my breaks. Those breaks are what keep me sane, and keep me from injuring the adolescents that I teach, and vice versa.

Oh well. So, Monday it's off to meet my new boss, and a few new co-workers, and get back to my normal routine of waking up too early and being at school more than eight hours a day. So, as much as I'm really not ready to get back there, I'm glad that it means I'm back to a schedule, and I'm hoping that I can accomplish my goals this year, and get all the things I'm supposed to get into their little heads in there...

Wish me luck!

Why do I do this to myself?

There are some things you would assume that would make you feel better about being married to a police officer. However, this is not the case. My husband is particularly paranoid, mainly for good reason, since our dogs alert us to any strange movement coming anywhere near our driveway. Now, you wouldn't like this sort of thing if you lived in a city or a neighborhood where your neighbor was just footsteps away. But out here, in Way-Past-BFE, if someone is at my driveway, they better know me and my dogs or else they'll be barked at continuously until either the hubby or I call them off. This is a nice thing most of the time, but tonight is not one of those times.

My husband decided to take an extra job, which means he's been gone all evening and won't be home until really late tonight. So, my senses are on super drive, since I'm the only one here and am supposed to be protecting my child and my house and all that. So, every light inside is off, every light outside is on, so that I can see them, but they can't see me. Whoever "them" may be.

So, you would think that I could handle myself and all that, right? Except there's a problem. I'm such a scaredy cat it's not even close to being funny. So, I don't like things that make you scared when the lights are on and everyone's around you, let alone sitting in the dark in the boonies by yourself at night.

So, why am I watching a scary movie on TV?

The worst part is that I have seen this movie dozens of times, and the ending makes it so that you can't watch it from the beginning again without forgetting a few things before you watch it again. But, still, I'm sitting here watching this movie because I feel like it's a good enough movie to be on in the background while I am playing hide and seek with the boogey man.

Oh well. Back to the movie and scaring myself stupid.

Breathing a HUGE Sigh of Relief

I know that a few of you were kind of confused about my last post about people that don't call when they say they will. Well, I was a little out of my mind at that moment, but things have calmed down and now that I know more, I can share more.

I had a doctor's appointment for my yearly exam at the beginning of July, and then a few weeks ago, they called back to tell me that it had come back abnormal and I needed to do another test. So, I went in last week praying that he didn't find anything and I could go home with my mind at ease. Unfortunately, he did see something, and he sent off a biopsy of an abnormal spot. This was Tuesday afternoon and he told me that we would have some information on Friday. So, every time the phone rang Friday morning, I was thinking it was them. But, to no avail. I left class about 10:30am, and ran some errands, still with my phone in my back pocket to make sure that I didn't miss a phone call.

By noon, I realized that they weren't going to call me in the morning, and I picked up the phone to call them. Then I realized, with much chagrin, that their office closes at noon on Fridays. So, I looked at my watch, saw five after, and dialed as fast as I could. But, no luck, the answering machine picked up. They gave me a pager number to call, and I did, but it was just a nurse on call at Med Center hospital. I tried to give her my sob story and see if she would give me a way around the answering machine, because I knew there was no way that everyone was out of the office only five minutes after noon. No dice.

She said sorry, but there's no way to get in touch with them until Monday. DANGIT!

So, I called at 8:30 this morning, and got someone on the phone... and she told me that everything turned out okay and I don't have to have anything else done. I may have to go back a little earlier than a year to get another test done just to keep tabs on it, but other than that, nothing to do! :) YEAH!

Thank you God for answering my prayers.

Biggest Pet Peeve

I have many pet peeves in my life, that is something that many people know. And usually, the rating of these peeves is variable, depending on the day and what is going on.

Today, the top spot goes to people who say they are going to call at a certain time and they never do.

When you say you're going to call, especially when the person waiting on the phone call wants important information, YOU SHOULD CALL!

This is annoying.

Rant is over. You may resume your perfect lives.

Testing...Do Not Disturb

I don't mind taking tests. Especially tests with a lot of mathematical calculations. I can handle those. But don't ask me to think about why I am doing what I am doing. I mean, I can tell you why, in a round about way, but not in the same words that you told me at the beginning of when we started doing this. Oh well.

So, my blogging is being put behind my studying, for my final today. Then I have to get ready for a baby-the-momma shower that I am really looking forward to doing. So, please don't feel neglected, know that I am planning a stellar comeback, but give me a few days to collect my thoughts and I will be back to normal! :)

Somebody tagged meme

What I was doing 10 years ago:

Ten years ago, I was working at Discovery Zone as a party hostess, making little kids’ birthday wishes come true. I was also dreading that the summer would be over before I was ready for it, because it would be my senior year, and I wasn’t ready to leave all my friends.

What I was doing 5 years ago:

Five years ago, I was still in college, with almost a year to graduate. I wasn’t one of those in and out in four years type people. Jonathan and I were engaged, with five months until our wedding day. We had also just hit our dating anniversary of one year. Life was getting started.

What I was doing 1 year ago:

One year ago, I was still trying to get the hang of nursing my 2 month old son. I was also working on my Master’s, which I am proud to say I am finishing my last summer of, and will done with classes in December.

What I was doing yesterday:

Yesterday was Friday, and I had my Master’s class again. We got out early so that those people that have to drive could be home at a decent hour. I worked on a new page of my scrapbook and got to bed before 10!

5 snacks I enjoy:

1) ANY ice cream by Blue Bell (almost)
2) Heath bars
3) strawberries sprinkled with sugar
4) apples with peanut butter
5) Doritos

5 songs I know all the words to:

1) I Love my Lips by Veggie Tales
2) Most songs by George Strait
3) The Yeti Song by the Backyardigans
4) Now I Lay Me Down to Sleep (every night with Micheal)
5)Fathers and Daughters by John Mayer

5 Things I would do with $100 million:

1) Pay off my house and any other major credit cards.
2) Pay off my car, and maybe buy a new one, no car note.
3) Pay someone to clean my house once a week.
4) Buy Jonathan the things he wants.
5) Pay off my student loans, and set aside enough for Micheal (or any other future children) to go to school.

5 locations I would like to run away to:

1) any Caribbean island
2) the safety of my bed when the world seems too much.
3) a massage parlor that would uphold the Calgon the commercial, and “take me away”.
4) New York, to see a Broadway show
5) Las Vegas, to spend someone else’s money.

5 bad habits I have:

1) sometimes saying the things that I think without first censoring my thoughts.
2) letting too much stress build up and then letting it all out on my husband or sister.
3) nagging my husband
4) not cleaning my house enough
5) whining about things I cannot change, or even those that I can.

5 things I like doing:

1) swimming in my pool when it’s hot
2) playing around on the Internet when I get a chance.
3) taking a nap with my child sleeping on my chest
4) reading the newest book that my friends recommend.
5) making my child laugh.

5 things I would never wear:

1) a skirt when I didn’t have to
2) a shirt that clung so close to me that it showed my left over baby belly rolls.
3) earrings in any place other than my earlobes, and only one per ear.
4) any shirt that has offensive language on it.
5) a see-through shirt with no bra.

5 TV shows I like:

1) Big Brother
2) Desperate Housewives
3) Survivor
4) Grey’s Anatomy
5) Friends

5 Biggest joys of the moment:

1) seeing Micheal trying out new things, and learning something new everyday.
2) making my child laugh
3) seeing Micheal’s face light up when Daddy comes in the door.
4) watching Daddy and Micheal play on the floor before bedtime.
5) a brand new container of ice cream in the freezer that my husband doesn’t know about… yet.

5 Favorite toys:

1) my new laptop
2) all my mom’s scrapbooking accessories
3) my DVR for the TV
4) our pool
5) Micheal’s new basketball goal (not that I play, but watching him play is more fun.)

I’m not tagging anyone because I don’t know anyone else with a blog that hasn’t been tagged already.

Things Learned this Week... by Micheal

Without trying to step on anyone's toes about information that I should have called about, I wanted to update everyone on what Micheal did this week.

This week I (Micheal) learned:

- how to say "banana".
- how to stand up by myself without anything to hold onto.
- why Mommy didn't want me to get into the containers on the bottom shelf that Grandmama left, because they had ink in them. (He found the blue ink stamp pad and got his hands, his knees, his clothes, and my floor all blue. :) )
- how fast Mommy can strip me and put me in the tub when I get too dirty.
- how to make Grandma laugh. When she asks me where my nose is, I scrunch up my nose and breath in and out.
- to show off my belly, my nose ('ose'), my teeth ('eef'), my tongue, my ears, and my eyes.
- (almost) how to say Melinda ('ma-ninna').
- to give a hug and kiss to anyone around me when I am leaving or going to bed.

All in all, it's been a pretty eventful week! Too bad that summer is getting closer and closer to being over! :P

Moving Trucks

My husband and I were minding our own business, driving down the road one sunny Tuesday afternoon (last week in fact), when out in front of us turns a moving truck. Now, you would assume that it was the professional kind, but these people didn't know they could call someone to pack and move all their stuff for them. So, they just put everything they had in the back of the pickup truck. I couldn't resist getting a picture on my phone, just for the sole purpose of having pictoral evidence for the story I knew I was going to be telling you.

Then my sister asked if I had checked my e-mail. Apparently, someone else thought that they needed pictoral evidence as well, and they used a better camera than I did. So, now for your viewing pleasure, you can play the same game that we played... I SPY!

I spy a fan, can you find it?

I wonder how many ropes they used?

And for those that are wondering, yes, it was legal, because they flagged the back of it.

Free Learning... Ask Me How!

Some people think that just if you're a teacher, especially even a math teacher, that if they know you and they don't know the answer to their problem, that you'll stop what you're doing and answer their question. This tends to happen to me when I am especially busy.

I used to help former students, or even children of fellow teachers for a small fee. I figure that is what my extra time is worth when I could be doing something else. But lately, I've only been helping those people that are of the sort that don't feel they need to compensate me for the hours that I spend imparting wisdom on them that they didn't feel the need to listen to in class the first time. It drives me crazy!

Tonight, I had the brother of a former student come over, and he stayed for about two hours. This time, though, when he left, he asked me if I wanted anything for my time. I almost cried! Instead, I told him not to worry about it this time. He then told me that he would probably need more help, and I told him that we would deal with money later. I'm thinking that maybe I finally found a student that understands that a teacher is supposed to be paid for the wisdom they impart.

I'm officially off the soap box now. Anyone else?

Childcare Tips

When leaving your child with someone else so that you can try to get some of the overdue errands done, there are a few things you should look out for beore trusting your beloved child with them.

They should:
- know your child's name.
- have changed a diaper before
- have some experience with kids.

They should NOT:
- gag when changing dirty diapers.
- allow your child to chew on broken glass.
- leave the diaper bag at home in the driveway when going to dinner (and almost run it over).
- close the child's fingers in the bedroom door.
- watch while child pulls four foot tall photo tower over on himself.
- put child in bed and shut the door when child is screaming and they don't know what to do.
- fall asleep on the floor while child is playing in other room.

Of course, all of this advice is null and void if the "someone else" that you leave your child with is your husband.

Things...

There are things that I know about my sister (lots of things) and things that I don't know about my sister (probably even more things).

There are things that I would like to know about my sister (what her heart desires), and there are things that I would not like to know about my sister (what she looks like naked).

Anyone who has a sister will understand these feelings, including my sister.

However, sometimes I think she forgets which topics should be part of the conversation and which parts should not! For instance...

Recently, we were discussing the fact that a certain lingerie store was having their semi-annual sale and that she had found pretty good deals on some over-the-shoulder-boulder-holders. I also decided that I needed to update my undergarment wardrobe and should go there as well. This kind of conversation is not irregular with the two of us, and we have learned to keep it pretty low-key, because my husband doesn't really like hearing about her undergarments. Let alone seeing them. Yes. she. did.

I stupidly asked my sister what her new undergarments looked like, and she proceeded to lift her shirt and show me! Now, this wouldn't have been a problem with me usually, because she has seen plenty of my undergarments and such with her being around so much when Micheal was little and still nursing. But, this was no such instance! There was only a small part of the support system made of opaque fabric. That is to say, I saw way more parts of my sister than I was ready for! If she had given me a little more preparation for what I was about to see instead of just flashing me all of a sudden, it might not have made such a stir, but OH. MY. GOSH!

My sister is definitely more endowed than I am, which I knew about way before she ever thought it appropriate to raise her shirt at me.

So, the next time my sister brings up certain topics of conversation, I guess I will have learned my lesson and I will either talk with my eyes closed, or not get on this topic before it ever gets to that point again. :)

When I grow up, I want to be a...

When I was younger, there were many things that I wanted to do with my life when I was done with school and out on my own.

None of them, though, involved being poorer than dirt and living in the sticks.

Well, not that I'm starving or living beyond my means, we live comfortably and we get the things we want, eventually.

A few of my options, though, were jobs in the city, making lots of money, married to a man with even more money. Being able to go shopping when I didn't feel like wearing any of the clothes in my closet, things like that.

Sometimes I feel envious of those people that do live that way. And then I look at my life and the situation I'm in now, and I realize that God put me on the path that was exactly what I wanted, even if it didn't look the way I thought it might look. I have the means to live the way I like, I have a husband that loves me unconditionally, and I have been blessed with a child that God chose especially for me.

So, even when I am doing things in this little country home of mine that I would have never in a million years imagined myself doing, then I try to remind myself that it's nowhere near where I thought it would be, but there's nowhere else I'd rather be.

Happy 4th!

Call for help... or so I thought!

It was a hot sunny day one day this week when I was doing nothing hanging out with my child and my phone rang. Thanks to the miracle of caller ID, I recognized the number and excitedly answered the phone. However, when I said, "Hello?" there was no response. So, I tried again, "Hello?" still with no reply.

Now, here is where I now realize that I watch too many detective shows on television. Instead of hanging up, I know that she must have called me for a reason, so I start listening. I can't hear her, but I can hear movement, and a little bit later, I hear a man's voice, but I can't tell what he's saying.

I am thinking that she must have called my number for a reason, maybe because she was going somewhere she wanted me to hear, or that something was happening to her and she wanted someone to be able to find her and help her, or... my imagination was running away...

I knew that it was none of these, but it still peaked my interest just the same.

I continued listening, and then I thought I heard her voice, so I started calling out her name, hoping that she would hear me and realize that her phone was on. Now, knowing this person, I figured that her phone was in her purse, which stays open, and that she would be able to hear me if I yelled enough. So, I kept trying. Then my little Micheal decided he wanted in on the fun, too, so he "yelled" into the phone, too. All, however, to no avail. So, figuring that she would eventually figure it out, I turned off my phone, knowing that would close the line.

However, the higher powers that be decided that this was not to be the end of our encounter. I turned my phone back on to make sure that it had ended the call, only to hear the man's voice again, with more movement.

Now, I'm thinking that this is the perfect opportunity to get some dirt on this person that called me, but my conscience got the best of me and I decided instead to keep yelling. This time, I just plain yelled, and the top of my lungs, in the highest note I could reach, until my breath ran out. Still, she never came to the phone. So, I turned it off again.

You'd think that the dang line would be cut off, but it wasn't. She was still connected. So, she was still subjected to my rantings. Now, though, I decided that if she was going to be wasting her minutes and not even talking to me, I was going to have some fun with this...

"This is your purse talking to you.... your purse is possessed!!!"

"Is there anyone out there? I'm trapped in here!"

"Somebody, anybody, tell her that her phone is talking to her!"

"Hello, can you hear me? I've fallen and I can't get up!

You get the picture. Finally, after about five minutes of continued attempts to disconnect the line, she finally figured out that her purse was making noises, and she picked up the phone to find me laughing at her.

Who was this bright person that I speak of? Who forgot to lock her keypad before putting her phone back into her purse?

I don't think it would be fair of me to divulge the identity without the person having a chance to defend herself, and since she's not writing this, I guess you'll have to wait and see if she 'fesses up!