I am not sick, I am just disgusting...

Whatever you have in your mouth, get rid of it. Whatever you have in your hands, put it down if you don’t want to drop it. What I am about to tell you is part grossness, and part hilarity. I probably couldn’t tell anyone about this in person, for fear of seeing their faces when they heard the news, but for you, my Internet friends, I can bare all on my blog. So, here goes!

A week or so ago, I had some popcorn for dinner with my sister. And you know how when you eat popcorn, you still find shells in the sink when you brush your teeth a few days later? Well, a few days ago, I thought one of those accursed remaining kernels was lodged in the back of my throat. I tried to cough it up, I tried to brush back there without gagging, I tried everything I could think of, all to no avail. I still had an annoying feeling in the back of my throat. Luckily, I am married to a man that is used to me asking him to aid me with gross things. So, I asked him to look in the back of my throat to see if he could find the source of my annoyance. Unfortunately, I heard the sound that I didn’t want to hear… eewww!!! Due to my husband’s profession, he can handle just about anything gross, so I was really worried when I heard him gasp. When I borrowed his flashlight, I found that in the back of my throat, next to my little dangle-down thing, was a very sizable lump with two big white spots on it. GROSS! My problem was that my throat didn’t hurt, I was just feeling annoyed. I didn’t think I was sick, but I’ve never had huge bumps in the back of my throat, either.

My sweet-yet-grossed-out husband told me that if it didn’t hurt, I should just try to gargle with salt water and if it didn’t go away, then go to the doctor. But, I think that gargling with salt water is disgusting, so I didn’t do it. And, it didn’t get any worse, but it wasn’t getting any better either. So, I looked up strep throat on the Internet, and found a description of the growth in the back of my throat. So, instead of worrying about if my child would be infected by my kisses, I made a doctor’s appointment.

You know how doctor’s offices are, they “squeeze you in” so that you can sit in the waiting room for half an hour, and then they put you in a room, where you sit there for a half an hour, and then the doc comes in (spending a total of five minutes in the room), looks in my mouth and tells me that I have a particle of food stuck to my tonsil and that it is making my tonsil enflamed. She told me that she didn’t have the right tools to do anything, and she didn’t want to use the wrongs ones because I could bleed to death (HOLY CRAP! BLEED FROM MY TONSILS!), but if I would just “gargle aggressively” for a few days, and then if it didn’t go away by next week then I should go to an ear, nose and throat doctor so that he could extract the particle with the right tools. Holy crap! EXTRACT IT! I guess I should have done one of two things… either gone to an ENT doc in the first place, or listened to my husband’s advice a couple of days ago. But since when is my husband allowed to be right about medical advice?

So, I have the proverbial good news, bad news situation… The good news is that I am not sick and do not have strep throat that I could infect my child with. The bad news is that I don’t know how to swallow all of my food correctly or something, which makes me disgusting.

Fun Facts

Here’s the list I read on another page and now I’m putting it on my page. Everything marked with an X is something I have done.

( ) Smoked a joint
( ) Been in a wet t-shirt contest.
( ) Crashed a car
( ) Stolen a car
(x) Been in love (and in lust.)
( ) Had a threesome
(x) Been dumped
( ) Shoplifted
( ) Been fired
( ) Been in a fist fight
(x) Snuck out of the house
(x) Had feelings for someone who didn’t have them back
( ) Been arrested
(x) Made out with a stranger
( ) Gone on a blind date
(x) Lied to a friend
( ) Had a crush on a teacher
( ) Been to Europe
( ) Skipped school (not even on Senior Skip Day…I’m such a loser.)
( ) Seen someone die
( ) Been to Canada
(x) Been to Mexico
(x) Been on a plane
( ) Seen the Rocky Horror Picture Show
(x) Thrown up in a bar
( ) Purposely set a part of yourself on fire
( ) Eaten Sushi
( ) Been snowboarding
(x) Met someone from the internet in person
( ) Been moshing at a concert
(x) Been in an abusive relationship (emotionally/verbally abusive)
(x) Taken painkillers (after having wisdom teeth removed, and after giving birth)
(x) Love someone or miss someone right now (love my hubby, miss my friend Erin)
(x) Laid and watched cloud shapes go by
(x) Made a snow angel
(x) Had a tea party
(x) Flown a kite
(x) Built a sand castle
(x) Gone puddle jumping
(x) Played dress up
(x) Jumped into a pile of leaves
(x) Gone sledding
(x) Cheated while playing a game
(x) Been lonely
(x) Fallen asleep at work/school
( ) Used a fake ID
(x) Watched the sun set
( ) Felt an earthquake
(x) Touched a snake (when I was younger and braver)
(x) Slept beneath the stars
(x) Been tickled
( ) Been robbed
(x) Been misunderstood
( ) Pet a reindeer/goat
(x) Won a contest
(x) Run a red light
( ) Been suspended from school
( ) Been in a car accident
(x) Had braces
(x) Felt like an outcast (first day of 5th grade at a new school in a new state)
(x) Eaten a whole pint of ice cream in one night
(x) Had deja vu
( ) Danced in the moonlight
(x) Hated the way you look
(x) Witnessed a crime
( ) Pole danced
(x) Been obsessed with post-it notes (what teacher isn't?)
(x) Walked barefoot through the mud
(x) Been lost
( ) Been to the opposite side of the world
(x) Swam in the ocean
(x) Felt like dying.
(x) Cried yourself to sleep
( ) Played cops and robbers
(x) Recently colored with crayons/colored pencils/markers
(x) Sung karaoke
( ) Paid for a meal with only coins
(x) Done something you told yourself you wouldn’t
(x) Made prank phone calls when you were younger
(x) Laughed until some kind of beverage came out of your nose
(x) Caught a snowflake on your tongue
( ) Danced naked in the rain
(x) Written a letter to Santa Claus
(x) Been kissed under the mistletoe
(x) Watched the sun rise with someone you care about
(x) Blown bubbles
( ) Had a bonfire on the beach
( ) Crashed a party
(x) Gone rollerbladdin’
(x) Had a wish come true
(x) Worn pearls (borrowed Mom's when I got married)
( ) Jumped off a bridge
( ) Screamed the word penis in public
( ) Ate dog/cat food
( ) Told a complete stranger you loved them
(x) Kissed a mirror
(x) Sang in the shower
(x) Owned a little black dress
(x) Had a dream that you married someone
(x) Glued your hand to something
( ) Got your tongue stuck to a flag pole
(x) Kissed a fish
(x) Worn the opposite sex’s clothes
( ) Been a cheerleader
( ) Sat on a roof top
(x) Screamed at the top of your lungs
( ) Done a one-handed cartwheel
(x) Talked on the phone for more than 6 hours
(x) Stayed up all night
( ) Didn’t take a shower for a week
( ) Picked and ate an apple right off the tree
(x) Climbed a tree
( ) Had a tree house
(x) Am scared to watch scary movies
( ) Believe in ghosts
(x) Have more than 30 pairs of shoes
(x) Worn a really ugly outfit to school just to see what others say (Red Ribbon Week)
( ) Gone streaking
( ) Played chicken
(x) Been pushed into a pool/lake with all your clothes on
(x) Been told you’re beautiful by a complete stranger
( ) Broken a bone
(x) Been easily amused (everyday!)
( ) Caught a fish then ate it
( ) Caught a butterfly
(x) Laughed so hard you cried
(x) Cried so hard you laughed
(x) Mooned/flashed someone
(x) Had someone moon/flash you
( ) Cheated on a test
(x) Forgotten someone’s name.
(x) Slept naked
(x) French braided someone’s hair
( )Grown a beard
( ) Belong to the KKK

Now, if you read this, you must also put it on your blog. Mark the items that you HAVE done with X’s.

M is for Michelle

A is for Age - will be 27 in October... (Holy crap!)

B is for Booze - I agree with Amanda Sue...Margaritas!! But if I can't have that, I'll just steal the salt off the rim of yours!

C is for Cookie you crave - Homemade chocolate chip fresh out of the oven. Even better if I didn't make them!

D is for Dating tip you'd give your son or daughter -I would rather not think about this just yet, but if I have to, I would say that you shouldn't date someone you wouldn't want your parents to meet!

E is for Essential items to bring to a party - BYOB!

F is for Favorite song at the moment - Daughters by John Mayer

G is for Goof off thing to do - tickle little Micheal

H is for Hometown - Klein, Texas

I is for Instrument you play - Viola since 5th grade and piano since 7th grade.

J is for Jam or Jelly you like - ONLY Amanda Sue's Homemade Strawberry Jam

K is for Kids - Micheal, one year and one week old.

L is for Living arrangement - With my spouse and sweet baby boy.

M is for Mom’s name - Melody, like in the song...

N is for Name of first crush - Brian Rundle, in California.

O is for Overexposed celebrity? - Anna Nicole Smith (You like my body?)

P is for Phobias - Snakes, spiders, or really big bugs.

Q is for Quote you like - "I have not failed. I have only found 10,000 ways that don't work." Thomas Edison

R is for Relationship that lasted longest - my first and only husband Jonathan

S is for Siblings - Younger sister and little brother (who's a senior in HS now!)

T is for Texas, ever been? - I live here, too!

U is for Unique trait - I can't bite an apple or eat corn off the cob.

V if for Vegetable you love - Corn cut straight off the cob.

W is for Worst trait - I talk too much when I really shouldn't, and I'm not always nice.

X - is for Xtra Credit, did you ever do it in school? - Always did, just to secure my A.

Y is for Yummy food you make - Homemade Lasagna

Z is for Zodiac sign - Libra.

Now that I've done it, you do yours!

Last Day

Today was the last day of school. (Pause for the celebration dance...)

The kids left at one, and instead of getting to go home when they did, I had to clean up my room and put everything away before I started the last day of school rituals required by the district. Our work day is supposed to be tomorrow (yes, on a Saturday), and none of us really want to be there. Somehow, if we don't want to be there Saturday, we have to work six hours either after school Friday, or work at Project Graduation this evening. I say evening, but I really mean late tonight into tomorrow morning. But, with my husband working in the morning, I can't really stay at school all night and morning with the kids, because then I would have no one to watch my child all day Saturday. So, I worked three and a half hours today after school, and then I have to go to graduation and present the National Honor Society scholarship, then stay and work Project Grad for two and a half hours so that I can make my six hours. That's what kinda sucks about working at a small school district. Oh well, I'll trade working at Project Grad any day over metal detectors and knife fights and bomb threats at school.

So, think of me tonight while you're safe at home in your bed, I'll be trying to avoid getting put in the dunking booth at Project Grad.

Dreams and Nightmares

Thank God that not all dreams come true. Lately, I have been having some rip-roarin' dreams at night when I am trying to sleep. Let me give you a few examples:

Last week, after telling my sister and husband that I didn't feel good, they both thought it would be funny to accuse me of being pregnant. I didn't think it was that funny. But apparently, my subconscience thought it would be funny to revisit that accusation. So, that night, I dreamt that I was in labor with child number 2, and that it wasn't going as smoothly as the first time. That'll make you wake up in a cold sweat. Thank God that didn't come true.

Then, this weekend, I woke up holding my hand out to my husband, demanding that he "hand it over!" I think I remember that I was dreaming about a kid at school having something they shouldn't have had, and I was trying to get it from her. Weird. That didn't come true, either.

Remember when you were dating a guy, and you dreamt that married life would be just like it is on the movie screen, and after dinner when you were cleaning up the dishes in the kitchen, a song would come on the radio and he would stop what he was doing and come over to you and dance with you in the kitchen? Well, this is the one dream that finally came true. Last night, we were cleaning up, and Jonathan was listening to his George Strait cd while cleaning dishes, and I was giving little Micheal a bath. When we met back up in the kitchen, Jonathan liked the song that came on, so he took Micheal, and the three of us "danced" on the kitchen floor. It was super sweet. This was just another reminder of how lucky I am with my wonderful husband and amazing son!

I wonder what other dreams can come true now?!?