Joke's on You!

In spirit of my friend Amanda (you pick which one, they all tell jokes), I decided that I would post a few of my favorite jokes on my page today. I tried to do it on Friday, but it wouldn't let me post for some reason, and then cleared out what I had written. So, now I'll share again what I had written then, and then I'll add another one.

Here's the first one:

What did the boy octopus say to the girl octopus?




I want to hold your hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand.


Second one:

If an elephant falls into the river, how does he come out?



wet


Third one:

A rope walks into a bar and orders a beer. The bartender then tells him "We don't serve your kind here." So, the rope goes home. The next day, the rope tries again, only to be told the same thing. The third day, the rope thinks he'll try one more time. He goes into the bar, where the bartender says, "I told you, we don't serve your kind here." So, the rope goes outside, tousles his hair, twists himself up, and goes back in and orders a beer. The bartender looks at him, and asks, "Aren't you the piece of rope I sent out already?" To which the rope replies, "Nope, I'm a frayed knot!"

If you don't get it, ask me and I'll spell it out for you."


And lastly:

Two men, Bob and Arty, are best friends, and have been that way for years. One day, Bob finds out that after years of thinking that Arty is an electrician, he is really a hit man. When confronted with this information, Arty confesses to his friend that he really is a hitman, and he was sorry he didn't tell him previously. Bob forgives his best friend with a shrug and says, "I wish I would have known earlier! Can you take care of my wife?" Arty says that he can, but even though they are friends, he will still have to charge him, because it would kill his reputation if anyone found out he had done the job for free. Bob understands and they agree on the fee of $1. Bob tells Arty that the best place to find his wife is on the snack aisle of HEB, any day of the week. So, Arty stakes out the HEB, and finally, Bob's wife shows up. He follows her around HEB, looking for a secluded spot, and finally, she stops in the produce section. He walks up to her and chokes her, letting her fall to the floor. Then he sees the produce man, and realizes he has to kill him. So, he chokes the produce man, too. And you know what the paper said the next morning?

Arty chokes 2 for $1 at HEB


HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA!!!!!!
Hope you enjoyed those as much as I did!